Spontaneous Fun...

Not too long ago, I read a book about a girl suffering from cancer. A common storyline in the recent theatre scene. This book was written in first person, it was similar to a diary account of the last few months of her life. On the days when she felt ok, she would set herself challenges. On one particular day, her challenge was to say 'Yes' to everything. It lead her to extraordinary experiences based on having freedom from the mind.



All too often, we spend too long debating what to do, not just with our long term plans, also with our near future. Tossing up the pros and cons, never allowing the freedom to just try. Do I leave for work early, I might hit traffic, it would mean getting up early, but I'd be less flustered and would have time for coffee. Constantly creating a conversation in our head!

Spontaneous times are the best and most memorable. Quite often I will drag my friend Roshni out, not knowing what we are truly looking for, just something to pop up and inspire us. Automatically, we plan ahead and follow the instructions of life, we drive through life simply taking the motorway, changing lanes from time to time heading from one major city to another, but never turning off for diversions down the smaller more unknown back roads!

On Thursday, I finished a shift at the cafe a couple of hours early, I've been working there over summer to save the extra cents and pennies. After a long night with limited sleep before hand, I generally felt like hitting the hay and spending the remainder of the day in bed. However my friend Ben had proposed taking me out for another surf session. After the last session, I was quite reserved about being chucked around and crashed upon by waves again.

As I was about to leave the beach having been for a swim with the parents, I drove passed Ben knowing he was hunting me down to glue me to the surf board again! Leaving the car with my parents, I grabbed my towel and newly purchased rash vest and jumped into Ben's van. With the ska music playing and the random conversations beginning to spark, we took a little road trip out to Tawharanui beach and spent half an hour catching waves and getting dunked in pools of slimey weed.




The spontaneous times with no idea what to expect are fabulous. No judgement or expectations to live up to, purely going with the flow of life. A little like art. Hard to plan, best to go with the feel of the brush! It's almost like life has a rythmn, and often we try and go against the rythmn without listening and just allowing our bodies to move with it.

The Act of Balance

Maybe it was the surf lesson from Monday that inspired me to this blog. Knowing just how difficult it is to learn to balance on a board, I believe it is just as difficult finding that balance in life. I've been seeking it for sometime and I am now coming to the agreement that my life is just meant to be scatty and unplanned with a mix of good and bad shaken and stirred into a life that is totally unwilling to balance itself into normality anytime soon.




Life is an ever occuring act of balance. When something good happens, it is balanced out with the bad. Only when we have experienced both sides of the scales may we appreciate the here and now in our lives.

Having thought I had turned to a new chapter in life, with unusual and daring prospects ahead, I have realise that I cannot appreciate every element of this without actually living it. Having a matter of weeks left in the country has established boundaries on certain elements of life. The last week I've come to discover that the good guys who offer the support and care I have been seeking for so long, come with the package of commitment, which unfortunatly I cannot offer. One taste of truth and reality when you plan to leave the country for a period of time!

The annoying thing is the tempted mind. Tempted by the known comfort, support and love that could be established by staying in one place. Knowing how hard and insecure the next year will be on my own, settling into a relationship does seem very tempting.

Staying positive about the unknown ahead is easy at times but often I am brought back to reality by emotions and the materialistic side of life. Money, chance, love. The big 'What if?'. When this comes to mind, I remind myself of what I would like in my life. If I gave up now, I would always know that I never quite got to where I wanted to be and that I gave up while in pursuit.

No barriers, only hurdles. Or waves in the case of surfing! To be tackled mind, body and heart.