'We spend most of our lives conjugating three verbs: to want, to have, and to do.' - Evelyn Underhill
I have written two blogs in the last few weeks that I have not posted, for what reason? Who knows. I am feeling a slight writers block, as I have so much to write but not entirely sure how to let it out...
Maria Montessori wrote a book about what she calls 'The Human Potential'. She stated that every child is born with potential. Potential to be anything or anyone they can imagine. As a child, there are no limits. No one to say that they can't do something. Until they reach an age where they start failing tests or are bullied for some reason or another. Suddenly their perspective of their own potential is shattered and for what? Someone elses judgement?
I was looking through my school exam results this week and chatting to my parents about school and college. The academic side of life seemed to come very easy to my brother, however the rest of us were not the sharpest tools in the shed. Reading through comments that teachers had made about my progress and my grades was enlightening. Although I struggled through school and college, I still feel like I am on my way to succeeding my own potential. It's just my potential did not lay within exam rooms! My Mum was also the same, and although she was terribly hurt by comments that teachers made at school, she still succeeded to be an amazing nurse. There may not be mountains of money sailing into our bank accounts, but the occupations offer us a different reward. Giving and guiding life. Seems like a pretty big job when you consider that some people sit behind a desk all day and determine the interest in wealthy bank accounts. Somehow though, everyone has a use. Whether it is their human potential, only they know.
I visited a friend last week who I met through a course I did a few years ago, it made me recap over things I had learnt when I did the very expensive but amazing course. It offered us the chance to look at life differently, and however much you battle not to get sucked in and fight that your life is perfectly fine and didn't need the course, you get drawn by the sheer transformation in other people. I met people from all walks of life, I truly wondered if I was in the right place. With alcoholics, drug dealers, people going through divorce, business men, I felt slightly out of place. However, I wasn't the only one. For three days, we sat and listened, sharing stories of different experiences, they were related and explained by different theories. At the time I felt like the course was trying to offer answers to things, that I had determind, didn't need answers. It took weeks until I could feel the effects of everything. I am so proud of the amazing friends I met, those 2 years ago. Even now, I know I can count on their support and kind words to guide me. After the course, I began to let down the barriers I had quite amazingly built over the years. I found the confidence to dance, I found the confidence to stand up for myself within work and most importantly I discovered the art of patience and communication, not just with others, but with myself. I figured out my own personality, and began to learn how to react to things in life effectively.
Nothing can take that knowledge away from me, however from time to time, I have to dust the book of knowledge and recap over somethings.
The quote at the beginning is true. Life is never complete unless we have, want or do something. Goals and aspirations are hard to avoid in life! A few months ago, I knew I needed more knowledge to teach in the Montessori field of education. I then decided I wanted to do further study. That is exactly what I am going to do. Without certain elements that have happened the last few years, I am quite sure, I would never have had the determination or confidence to hand in my notice at my first professional place of work.
At the beginning of September, I applied to study in Italy. I have no money saved and have no idea how on earth I will go through with this. But I know I will. Last week, I recieved my letter of acceptence. Italia...here I come!
One of the unpublished blogs I wrote lately, was about how people move on. My ex has successfully moved on and found himself a girl that I am sure is worthy of his love. I have moved on and found a path to my own potential in life. Happiness in two different ways, one is shared in a partnership...the other a quality of life that appeals to me. I may have missed out on my opportunities with some, but have opened up others else where in life.
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